Perfect Age To Get Married? There’s No Such Thing!November 11, 2018 [Sarina Jain]
Perfect Age To Get Married? There’s No Such Thing!
There is no such thing as the perfect age to get married. As women, especially, we get a lot of comments about our singleness and get defined by age. Some people view marriage as it being the only goal in life and put high expectations on us.
In the Indian culture, getting married at a late age isn’t exactly socially appealing. And as an Indian woman who waited to get married later in life, I’ve heard it all when I was single.
What are you are waiting for?
If you wait, your choices will be limited.
Having kids later will be impossible.
You’re so pretty and have an awesome personality, why are you still single?
Sometimes when we get comments like these, we don’t exactly know how to respond. Sometimes, I took these comments seriously. Then other times I brushed it off. I realized that people are going to say whatever they want and I couldn’t control that. But I didn’t have to waste my energy on what others thought I should do with my life. That decision was solely up to me.
Masala Bhangra is my first baby, and I spent my younger years building my dream business. And I’m so glad I did! It was my calling and I knew I had to pursue it. I wasn’t put on this earth just to get married and be a mother. I was also put on this earth for many other reasons. I had a vision and it was my responsibility to bring it to life.
With that said, I did eventually want to get married and become a mother. While I was building Masala Bhangra, I was also very socially active. Meeting new people, putting myself out there was also important as you never know who you will meet. However, the decision to get married would be on my terms with the right person and not because I was on a timeline. I always believed that it would work when it is supposed to.
Getting married just because you’ve reached a certain age never made sense to me. While there was a lot of pressure from family, at the time, I really wanted focus on my brand and other life goals. Too many personal events took place in my life and I didn’t want to lose this opportunity to do what I wanted to do.
I'm so happy that I waited until I met the one. He was the only man that had the guts to get on one knee and propose. He didn't ask me to change my career or quit, which was very important to me. In fact, he came to my classes and participated in all my events to show that he was super supportive! I am now married to my dream guy with two beautiful girls.
This was my perfect timing to get married and have children, and it all worked out. Timing is everything and when it is meant to happen, it will.
If you’re constantly pressured by the people in your life to get married, here’s a little guidance to help you out.
First, Decide What You Want
Some people don’t want to get married, and that’s OK. In my personal case, I did want to get married. But I also wanted to be a successful entrepreneur. I’m currently running my business and taking care of my family. During my younger years, I knew I really had to stay committed to Masala Bhangra and the vision I had for it. When I was ready to meet the one, I created the energy and time in my schedule to actively put myself out there.
Don’t Let The Comments/Judgment Of Others Define You
People will always have something to say to you. Sometimes it comes from a well-meaning place. Sometimes it comes from a hurtful place. You can’t control people’s intentions, but you can certainly control yours. Looking back, I can understand what some people were saying and what they meant. But everyone is on a different journey. Just because some people get married at an early age, doesn’t mean that you should, too. Everyone has a different time and you’ll find your time when you’re ready and when it’s meant to happen. You just have to believe that no matter what people say to you or how they make you feel, it is your journey and have no regrets.
Take the time to really get to know yourself. It’s so important to discover who you really are and spend quality time with yourself. Take a solo trip, take yourself out for dinner, and work on your mindset. Spending time with myself and working on Masala Bhangra helped me so much in self-discovery. When you know yourself so well, comments about not being married or having kids won’t bother you at all.
Don’t Let The Happiness Of Others Get In The Way Of Yours
We live in a digital world where we’re constantly seeing wedding and baby updates on social media. Be happy for your friends, but dwelling on what they have and what you don't have is not going to help you get married! Focus on your happiness right now in the present moment. Maybe that’s traveling. Maybe that’s enjoying a nice cup of chai and a good book. Maybe it’s reaching a milestone in your business. Or take time to spend with family or friends. Do not define happiness based on whether you’re married or not. Real happiness comes from within.
If you are serious about finding the one, you need to be proactive. I’ll be writing a post on how to find the one and share how I met my husband later this month! So keep your eyes peeled!
Until then, do you! And be proud of wherever you are in life.
Do you feel pressured to get married from others? Would love to hear your thoughts. Tell me about it in the comments!